Thorns of Independence

There was a girl surrounded by thorns
The Thorns of Independence
Beautiful and poisonous up to her neck

Though born to be consecrated and fit for a King
Along the way she crossed paths with pain
And became set aside for sabotage

One day that King came along
To take His charge and pick His princess

On the wild boarder
Left somewhere near the corner
He chose the frightened, little, dirty one

For my best and for his glory
I’ve been chosen, called
“Forever, I am with you”

And THAT is true beauty

Like a butterfly with open wings
A flower that’s in bloom
Something searching, trusting and vulnerable,
Not my independent, self sufficiency and self control
But my ABSOLUTE dependence on His Holy grace alone

Now THAT is beautiful

Thorns of Independence P2

You see, there’s these thorns of independence that I’m surrounded by
But I can see you better when my head’s up in the sky
They never grow that tall
Looking out at you is not real clear
So I look up and God smiles at me
Looking up not out, there’s nothing in between

I want MORE than this, but am convinced I can’t
So I simply deal with what I can
But I am deeply sad, and deeply weak despite what it may seem
I’ve learned to stand with my head a bit too high
And I will smile when the beautiful people I appreciate pass by

At this level some just don’t see them, and come to hug me “Hi”
Get pierced with all these protruding sticks and never again come by
I’m sick and done with nights of tears crying “why oh why!”
I don’t blame them
It wouldn’t work anyway, even if we tried

I’m hurt, I’m lonely, longing for a friend
I wish soo deeply someone would FIGHT
And just do what it took and find a way in!

Wanna shout so they look
But I don’t want them hurt so I let them walk by
I don’t want them cut so I don’t even try
Why would I waste my time thinking about these disappointing circumstances
surrounding my life
Just take pleasure in pain cause it’s not ever going to change
I could cry all day and try to fix it in every way
But in the end it’s still the same
No matter what I do or how hard I try
These thorns remain
Independence don’t die

I’ve learned to deal with this in my life
It’s just something that IS
Regardless, of how much this is hindering my life, pushing people away
At the end of the day, I still have independence to get me by

But inside these beautiful thorns Im hurt and Im longing
For connection I cry, but every dang time when we reach out to try
Sure as the sun our attempt is undone

Can ANYONE help with this need in my life!
Somebody who’s bold enough to rip out these LIES
Then catch all my tears I shed for that deadly beauty
My friend independence that nearly ruined me

You were a method I sowed as of young
A terrible tragedy, now what more may come that “Emotional Disconnect” would’ve kept me from
I know THERE, it’s safe
When we’re keeping our space

But I’ve never been one to settle
This child in thorn’s been attacked
No, not born to_ No, never meant to see the world through her eyes alone

Yes its beauty is rare beyond compare
But its poison destroys with determined despair

So I ask you, dare you, challenge you, BEG you
Please grow out your nails and scratch off your hard scales
So that scared, little girl will come outside
And for once breathe the life she’s been destined for

Meant to join in companionship, true comradery
To establish a kingdom that’s fit for a king

The Thorns of Independance P1

Miss Independent, so intoxicating
Sparkling away, you kindle your flame with beauty
Beautiful thorns
The Thorns of Independence
So nice to see, but be careful please to keep your distance

If you want her you can find her
A little Left of center, near the corner, along the wild boarder
Be assured you can’t miss her
It's near impossible
Decorated with thorns, Just up to her neck

They're not so kind as to climb to a height
that would shield her eyes from knowing the light
But Oh! How intricately they weave
Through every aspect of her life
They're beautiful, bearing bright flowers
All year long though even winter hours
Soo durable, so Beautiful she is
Miss Thorns of Independence


Some think it's quite attractive
With all this flower and fruit
Enticed, some try to take me away
But not for ME of course
Just to PIN me up on their display
Naturally, I can’t blame them
I do bring much attention

You see these thorns are a part of me
We’ve been growing since I remember
So durable in time we have become
For such long periods we can be left alone
We’re very strong and don't die easy
We were strengthened as we came to be
Put through fire, floods and wind that came to burn, drown and bend
But these shakes and tragedies have made us tough, hard as can be

They’ve protected me and I love them for that
I care for and tend to them, as a matter of fact
Just from time to time, when necessary

Within them, there's enough space to freely roam
I can smile knowing what they keep me from
Making do with what I have
No, I don't need much
I can care for myself,,, most of the time
I've got everything I NEED, right here

I appreciate these special thorns
Like me, so unique
Besides, they provide my food and drink
They keep away the wild beasts that otherwise would prey on me
They know better than to come too close
It's for dependent, searching and vulnerable they go
On my own though I stand
Thank God I wasn't dealt that hand

But no matter how great my day
Entertaining myself within my thorns
Whether perfecting skills through trial and error
Filling my head with knowledgeable flare
Or communicating with anyone I come into conversational distance with
I truly DO enjoy that
I mean, It’s not ALL that bad in here

Fellowship is usually fun
In fact most the time others really delight in me
I mean, I have a sparkling personality
I encourage them to be happy
Help them see things differently
Openly share my mind, stories,,,dreams
I speak of windows, the way to hope
Help them see their beauty
Find joy in the little things
And challenge what was meant to be

But, they are beautiful and interesting too
Yes, I learn from and enjoy them
Probably as much as they do me
But nothing more, nothing less
They come, they go
And it ends with that.

Though still, there's a volcanic stir
I'm unaware of it's "kiaros" hour
Despite the atmospheric smiles, there's cravings so much deeper
Addiction beyond what flower can feed
A severed root of vengeful need

Only a body, somebody can suffice
One who can fight the feast of poison fruit
To rip it out by its rotting roots
Clear the weed and render the seed

Come quickly please! I long to be freed
Come inside, Invade my space, come wreck my walls and be part of my life!
connect to and BE with me, really really BE with me
I want SO BAD to cry out and embrace someone outside of my thorny space

I've reached out before, and gotten slit
So I've learned to weave through.
I’ve gotten pretty slick a few times and even been able to touch you!
It was amazing, I never wanted to leave
But I had things to do, had a schedule to keep.

I remember when; Yes kind of selfish but,,, I REALLY wanted you
But when I took your hand, to pull it through
You got cut REALLY BAD too.

No! Don't go! I'm soo sorry! I didn't want to hurt you!
Just stay with me. Don't leave! Please! Just right outside of these.

,,,But after a while you left
A little left of center
I couldn't blame you
I mean, there wasn't much we could connect to do.

The Crows and the Seed

Look at the crows flying high in the sky
they must know more than me

Oh Crow
How narcotic all your feathers
Volcanically brilliant in the sun

How smoothly you fly
How gently you land
How subtly you peck every sprout from my hand

But You soar higher than me, what I know or see.
You are above these seeds of dreams
You already fly

Lord
Teach me how to fight in the heights
Don't let me let them take my life.

The Crows and the Seeds P2

It's Like I don't prize or take your word, your truth, my source of life, identity and calling; It's like I don't take that seriously. What a tragedy! What a foolish, faithless therefore sin filled iniquity and lack of action; not doing what you commanded: to be strong and fight fear. I have not been a warrior but a coward! A faithless coward full of contempt, disregard and disrespect of your words, your seeds, your truth about me, HOLY and SACRED.

My calling, your plan for me, who you say I am is a HOLY, SACRED thing, not to be taken lightly! Oh HOW in regret I am. I am soo sorry! Look what I've allowed to happen to me, meant to be a most beautiful display of adornment for your name and your truth. I have allowed it to be desecrated, muffled, muzzled and finger printed up by myself and pecked at by Crows; those who come to tear me down and doubt my dreams.

Lord! YOU lead my everything. Help me to FIGHT off the Crows who come to devour my seeds, the gifts and dreams you've placed deep in me. Those Crows who come to dishearten and steal my time, my thoughts, to steal me, keeping me from taking care, tending to, protecting, nourishing, rooting and establishing my purpose and the plans you have for me.

Teach me to fight them off. I know THIS is YOUR COMMAND; that I pick up my execution stake and follow you. That I guard my heart; that I arm myself with your armor and knowledge; that I use the sword of the spirit and your Word_the truth, to cut between Bone and Marrow. This cut between bone and marrow is dividing truth from the lies, the real deal from the imitating counterfeit, your reality vs. mine.
That is MY job, and you will train and equip me and come to my rescue, but you want ME to fight; to be your warrior for your kingdom. I was born a fighter, our whole generation was! But, we've been fighting the wrong things.

I need to know the difference between the crows I should fight, and the discipline of the sun and storm that will make me strong and grow.

I need my acceptance of Sabotage to be stripped from me! I must give up that control! Stop turning down the easy road. It's familiar; full of disappointments along the way I know that I can tolerate. No! I must fight for what I know you've told me I can do and trust in you. Make me an excellent fighter! Teach me to stab the source, perfect my aim so I'm not swinging at the winds. Those strong winds that will make my trunk and bark thicker and stronger. Teach me to punch it square in the nose.
Yes, I may miss a few times at first, and my seeds get stolen, but I know you will rain and spread more seed; bringing the sower through your word of sacred truth_ not to be taken lightly, but to cling to and protect. Then, you will allow me the practice time and time again so I can become excellent at this, and knock em' out with percision; to the point that it's effortless. And I will be your warrior princess, bringing you attention and reverence, displaying your power through what you've done and do in and through me. . . . . So bring it!
I am a "bring it" because I KNOW "you got it."

The Crows and the Seed P1

Yesterday you freed me from condemnation and shame and you showed me the truths about my ability, talents and identity that i allow to be plucked, stolen away from me. Oh how easily i give in to discouragement and want to quit. I'm doubting what you've said about me, what you've called me to do and be.

Someone who knows who they are in the Lord bears your name on thier forehead in everything they do, even if it's not pleasing to you or represent how you are. Your kids still have your name because they have been adopted into your vine, your household and so represent you.

I don't have it all together.
In my authorities eyes I'm disrespectful when in disagreement with how they're treating me or attempting to teach me, even if that is not my intent. I don't treat my peers with respect when they play their spiritual role of authority in my life. People don't like the way I organize and delegate tasks to them. I can't please everyone how they want so i get their scorn, complaint and back lash. I take a third person voice of criticism to heart and hurt. I feel betrayed buy those under me whom I lead and direct. And with those who are meant to be my good friends, I feel like a project they are trying to FIX and repel them. I allow lies and discouragement to steal into my heart's chambers and run away with my dreams, goals and precious confidence in who and what YOU (The LORD) say I am. I'm selective with who I open up to and so hurt my friends with the feeling of unworthiness.

Lord, how many times have people done this to you? Hurt you, offended you, yet still you don't let that stop your strength power or love from stretching out on their behalf.

TRUST, FAITH, HOPE, LOVE. Trusting in your love for me.

I get so excited when I hear the seeds of truth and know I am good soil, Broken, moist from tears, soft, and hungry. Then those seeds of truth about my identity, how I was chosen, called, selected and assigned by YOU: Almighty YOU, the KING, to do and carry out these tasks. How I've been sent as an emissary and you have equipped me, how if I fall to get back up that my strength and grace is ALREADY provided from you. Your command to be BOLD and STRONG, COURAGEOUS, RELENTLESS, FIERCE to fight...... yet_ I don't.
I take the hit, get hurt, and weakened, I back down, hide and turn my focus, my gaze from the prize to myself and became trapped in doubt about my calling and stuck in discouragement and self pity, looking at all my flaws and meditating on the ridiculousness of the idea of messed up, weak, retarded me doing great things for you GOD.
BUT it is not me anyway. You're using what the world considers impossible, foolish and ideal folly and you confound THEM by using me.

I can't let the crows come and steal my seeds. You've got plans for me and my seeds of identity and truth. Seeds to bear amazing fruit for the world. They need it. They need these seeds you've planted in me to grow. They need what will come of it. They need what you DO. What you'll do with me IN you.